Bumper Sticker Philosophy

Two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights made an airplane. 

It's not the pace of life that concerns me, it's the sudden stop at the end. 

With my luck, when my ship comes in, I'll be at the airport

The Big Bang Theory: God spoke and BANG it happened

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

I smile because I have no idea what's going on. 

It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. 

Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun. 

The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom. 

If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees. 

Lead me not into temptation (I can find the way myself). 

When you're finally holding all the cards, why does everyone else decide to play chess? 

If you're living on the edge, make sure you're wearing your seat belt. 

The mind is like a parachute; it works much better when it's open. 

There are two kinds of pedestrians...the quick and the dead. 

An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys. 

A closed mouth gathers no feet. 

Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. 

It's not hard to meet expenses...they're everywhere. 

Jury: Twelve people who determine which client has the better attorney. 

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

Life is just like a straw - it sucks.

If you can read this you're in range.

Warning! I drive like you do.

Cover me. I'm changing lanes.

Born free. Taxed to death.

I love cats...they taste just like chicken...

Nobody's ugly after 2 a.m

Horn Broken ... Watch For Finger.

There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.

Keep honking...I'm reloading.

My REALITY CHECK Bounced.

It IS as bad as you think and they ARE out to get you.

REHAB IS FOR QUITTERS

If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you.

My karma ran over my dogma.

Don't ya hate these idiots at the mall who take up 2 spots?

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off Now!

Out of my mind. --Back in five minutes.

"One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, FLOOR"

SSSHHH! Driver Asleep