9.23.03

Ðeadlines and essays and college, oh my!

Well today was fairly uneventful...I almost fell asleep in Trig today. It wasn't that much more boring than usual I'm still just really tired from getting up so early yesterday morning.

The process has begun. The process of my mom nagging and harping on me that is. Ugh. She keeps getting onto me about how I need to be looking for all kinds of scholorships and filling applications out for college. Well I know what I want to do I'm just not sure where I want to go yet... and truthfully I don't want to think about it. I thinking about graduating and going off to college because it makes me cry everytime. I don't want to think about it because I don't want to leave my friends, family, and especially Seth. I know I won't be going far, and things will work out I'm sure for Seth and I, but still I'll only get to see him on the weekends and its going to be hard. And my other friends, with the exception of Amanda, who goes to my church and Abby & Nicole, who are on the clogging team, I'm not sure if I'm going to keep in touch with them all and that makes me sad too. And I'm still having a hard time believeing that this is actually my last year of high school. It used to seem soooo far away and now its here! I just don't want to think about it but I know I have to. :( Of course my mom nagging me doesn't help anything. It's one thing to remind me that this line is coming up and stuff like that, but just nagging me to do this, do that, and do it NOW just stresses me out and makes me upset and then I want to do it even less. I'm trying my hardest to keep my grades up again this year and with homework and clogging, church and chamber, and all the other choir stuff I'm doing I'm not seeing how I'm just going to have time to sit down and write essay after essay. But I have to because I have to get a scholarship, because there is no way my parents can afford to pay my tuition, let alone anything else. (I also have to find a job this summer.) And its especially hard because when it comes to doing all this college stuff because I don't have a clue what I'm doing and it's incredibly overwhelming.

Ok well I'm done ranting and rambling about that. Actually though I was more upset over that yesterday, and I called Seth and of course after talking to him I felt much much better. ;) I get to see him tonight at clogging :) He has to leave tomorrow though and won't be back till Friday. They're going on some kind of field trip to a museum in Chigaco. I wanted to send the calling card we had with him so that he could call me but Matthew says its in his wallet and he can't find his wallet. (Of course he's not looking either...I have half a mind to go ransack his already-disasterous room and see if I can't find it.)

Ok well this is extremely long and boring so I'll let you go. I have to go do a bunch of Trig homework anyway. TTFN!

~Melissa

<< | >>