3.23.04

I just don't know why...

Hey... well today was ok. Actually it was good, especially getting to see Seth this evening. And school went ok.

What's not going well? Well- you know how earlier how I was talking about a particular friend of mine? Yea well she is still getting to me. Like she just makes comments about things... I KNOW darn well she is talking about me, or knows that its something I'm doing or not doing and she'll make comments about it. For example..... tonight, she said very loudly to Abby, (knowing I was listening) "I'm going to have my hair professionally done for the prom. There is no way I'd ever do it myself, I mean if you do it yourself it'd just look like crap" etc...etc... well she knows darn well that I am doing my own hair for prom... for reasons, among others, that I simply can't afford to fork out $30 for a hair-do when I've already had to buy a dress and shoes. That comment in and of itself isn't that bad... but its like this CONSTANTLY. And its really hurtful. I feel like she doesn't even care about me anymore...for whatever reason, I'm not sure. But its like she doesn't care about me or how I feel. Instead she says these things all the time. And she HAS to know how hurtful it is. I just don't know why... I don't understand. She's supposed to be my friend... one of my closest friends. We've been friends for like 7 years. But recently its like she's someone else. I don't like her attitude at all... but yet there is nothing I can do about it. Because if I talk to her, it always ends up being "my problem" or something to that effect and then the next thing I know I'm apologizing. :S Yea well I'm hoping that this is some sort of phase and she'll snap out of it and I'll get her back. You know I hope she reads this too... just cause I think it might help.

But anyway... I'm so glad I have Seth. It helps so much just knowing he's here for me no matter what. And when I feel like no one else in the world cares, I know that he does. And that he loves me. I know I griped about this a lot and I'm not in the happiest mood today... but I am happy overall. I still have a lot to smile about. I have a boyfriend and best friend who cares about me so much and is there for me and loves me and respects me. I don't care what she says about us, because I know he's the one for me. And I'm never ever ever going to find anyone better for me. :) I have been so so blessed! :D

OK well I'm gonna go... TTFN!

~Melissa

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